Folks, we have an issue. Like a church on a Sunday morning, where the faithful have their arms raised up praising God, my son has pledged his devotion to the fashion gods. We’re fucked.
Gone are the days I could glide into Payless Shoes, slap down $10 bucks and walk out with a pair of tennis shoes. Or the trips to Old Navy, where I could buy 4 pairs of pants, 3 sweatshirts and 2 t-shirts all for under $80.
My 12-year-old has discovered a brand called Supreme. Heard of it? Me neither, let’s move on. Supreme is a street-wear brand started a while back. I’m too lazy to Google it, just know it’s been at least a decade. They have a few shops in the larger cities like New York, L.A. and London. You can find people camped out in an effort to secure a Supreme fanny pack. If you go to their website, the shit sells out in seconds. Why? People have purchased whats known as shop bots. From my understanding, shop bots are programmed to buy online goods, immediately when they become available. Yesterday’s products sold out in seconds, according to my sister. Once the goods are purchased, resellers post them on Ebay for a vomit inducing mark-up. Supreme really isn’t expensive at retail, it’s the resellers that are making this stuff near impossible to obtain. It also doesn’t help that everything Supreme sells is made in limited quantities. I think that adds to the allure, hooking kids like my son.
And let’s just talk about the allure of the brand. It’s a clothing brand, right? Just to show how popular they are, they etched their name into a brick…..and sold it. But it gets worse. You could buy the brick for just $30 but once it hit eBay, it went for $1,000! Here’s a screen shot of the stupid brick.
So today, I regaled my co-workers with a text I received from my 12-year-old, P. He was at home thanks to a nasty ear infection. I could tell immediately he was feeling better when I received the following text:
I mean seriously, WTF?
Apparently Supreme does collaborations with high-end brands such as Louis Vuitton. Here is a fugly jacket, now on eBay. If you’re a gabillionaire, I encourage you to buy this and gift it to my son.
Yes, for the price of a brand new car, you can own a coat that probably cost $20 to make. Sweet, let’s move on.
A Family Affair
Unbeknownst to me, my son was going the aunt route. Via text, he was pleading to my sister to aid him in finding something, nah, anything Supreme. Apparently over the last few weeks, she has religiously monitored the Supreme site for available/affordable products she could buy P. She read articles about the brand and educated me on the brand.
Now it was getting personal. Because I see this as a challenge, I’m now being sucked in. Anytime someone tells me I can’t, I do. Here is the text between my sister and me last night.
Super F to the Rescue
In one last-ditch effort, I had an idea. I text my cousin F who lives in L.A. He could go to the Supreme store. Sure, people camp out overnight just to obtain these garments but we’re family. Surely he’ll go, right? Probably because we are family I shouldn’t have asked him. Essentially, I’m asking him to go to a store he has 0 desire to visit, stand in a huge line of kids, potentially for hours and fight a crowd that is probably like Black Friday on steroids. All in the name of obtaining anything Supreme.
“I’m going to tell F just to go in and grab a shopping bag and walk out,” I told my husband.
“Yeah P, you can carry your lunch in it!” My husband joked to my son.
“Better yet, I’ll ask him just to grab a comment card. You’ll frame that, right P?” I asked.
P did not find my joke amusing. He just gave me a death look, like “not funny mom”.
Last Minute Gift
For that hard to buy loved one, I have something you can purchase from Supreme to celebrate the holidays. Might I entice you with holiday skeletons? Their compromising positions really add to the Christmas holiday. Don’t you think?
Oh yeah, sorry, you can’t buy it because it’s SOLD OUT!