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Confessions Of A Sex Toy Lady

So folks, I had a Pure Romance party last night and it did not disappoint in providing laughs and an oppourtunity to drink way too much. I will be posting tomorrow about the event as it evens has your’s truely in a compromising position, but I encouraged my Pure Romance rep/friend to write a blog post for me on one of her experiences. I knew that having 2 small children and a home full of “products” (aka dildos) would surely provide at least one awkward moment and she did not disappoint. Without further ado, I give you…

Confessions of a Sex Toy Lady

As a mother, were conditioned to experience and handle the awkward moments our children put us in like a pro. right?! They may say something extremely inappropriate in public and people politely chuckle. However, I don’t care what anyone says, moms are not conditioned to handle some situations. For example, when your children find our vibrators and play with them like they are their newest action figures from Christmas!

Imagine yourself sitting in the kitchen with a decent looking guy from college. Not only is he decent looking but is also your financial advisor. Suddenly your child comes waltzing down the stairs with a vibrator in tow. It’s turned on, vibrating at a speed similar to your husbands newest power tool.

“Mom, can you please help turn this thing off?”

Though I was pleased with her politeness, I couldn’t help to melt into the floor.

Did this just happen?‘ I thought, feeling a wave of nausea.

I felt my face turn five shades of red as I had to quickly act and address the situation.

“Don’t worry, it’s not mine!” Is the first thing I blurted out; attempting to salvage a little dignity. I continued to diarrhea from the mouth.

“I know what you’re thinking, ya right!” I said, rolling my eyes, trying to play it cool. Truth be told, I actually had just cleaned them from the night before and forgot to put them away. I’d like to think I saved myself that day by my career choice!

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18 thoughts on “Confessions Of A Sex Toy Lady

  1. Oh my goodness i would have curled up and died… just long enough to grasp it firmly by the balls and say “This week at our really inivotive group we have to find a new use for two household items … I am cooking Trout in the dishwasher and making homemade slow stirr ice cream. Maybe you’d like to try a sample.’ *wipes brow* job done!

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