My 8-year-old and I were watching television upstairs last night when a commercial came on. He rolled over on his side and said,
“Mommy, Caiden had a very interesting question yesterday and I wanted to know the same thing.”
“Ok,” I asked completely intrigued, knowing it was going to be something adorable.
“What are tampocks?”
“Tamp…..what?” I asked, attempting to buy time.
“Tampocks.” He repeated.
“You mean tampons?”
“Yes. I always see them when I go under the sink to grab a wash cloth and I want to know the same thing.”
‘Oh fuck,’ is really the only thing going through my head. He’s only 8. I still haven’t told my 12-year-old what a tampon is though by now I’m sure it’s been discussed somewhere on the playground. Do I just tell him the truth? Does he need to know? Do I lie? I think I was the one with the biggest problem here. Even if it’s a natural thing, I still struggle with the conversation. I decided to stall a little.
“Well honey. It’s a thing with only girls and women. I can tell you but I have to warn you, it’s kinda’ gross.” Sorry, right or wrong, I didn’t know what to say.
“Gross? Ok, I don’t need to know.”
I exhaled, not realizing I had held my breath. I didn’t want him to be put off about it but I don’t think I was prepared to walk him through the entire reproduction system.
“Just know it’s a mommy device,” I said, instantly regretting my words.
A mommy device? WTF Hot Mess! I made it sound like we are machines and tampons are just a clip on or something. Like those Hello Moto commercials where you can snap on accessories to your phone.
So yeah, he’s going to go to school and tell Caiden that a “tampock” is a mommy device. How would you have handled it? I’m all ears here.