What Are Tampocks?


My 8-year-old and I were watching television upstairs last night when a commercial came on. He rolled over on his side and said,

“Mommy, Caiden had a very interesting question yesterday and I wanted to know the same thing.”

“Ok,” I asked completely intrigued, knowing it was going to be something adorable.

“What are tampocks?”

“Tamp…..what?” I asked, attempting to buy time.

“Tampocks.” He repeated.

“You mean tampons?”

“Yes. I always see them when I go under the sink to grab a wash cloth and I want to know the same thing.”

‘Oh fuck,’ is really the only thing going through my head. He’s only 8. I still haven’t told my 12-year-old what a tampon is though by now I’m sure it’s been discussed somewhere on the playground. Do I just tell him the truth? Does he need to know? Do I lie? I think I was the one with the biggest problem here. Even if it’s a natural thing, I still struggle with the conversation. I decided to stall a little.

“Well honey. It’s a thing with only girls and women. I can tell you but I have to warn you, it’s kinda’ gross.” Sorry, right or wrong, I didn’t know what to say.

“Gross? Ok, I don’t need to know.”

I exhaled, not realizing I had held my breath. I didn’t want him to be put off about it but I don’t think I was prepared to walk him through the entire reproduction system.

“Just know it’s a mommy device,” I said, instantly regretting my words.

A mommy device? WTF Hot Mess! I made it sound like we are machines and tampons are just a clip on or something. Like those Hello Moto commercials where you can snap on accessories to your phone.

So yeah, he’s going to go to school and tell Caiden that a “tampock” is a mommy device. How would you have handled it? I’m all ears here.

Share the laughs with friends!


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