Do You Have a Weak Stomach?*

Weak Stomach

*VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED!!!

I occasionally have a weak stomach. I’m not the type to vomit upon seeing something gross or become physically ill. What does happen is I immediately lose my appetite. I guess this is a good thing as I eat less.

Last night as I sipped a glass of Cabernet in bed, vowing to finish Mean Girls for the first time, I heard the following exchange downstairs.

“Oh my God P, DON’T LOOK! Don’t look!” My husband exclaimed.

“What! What! I wanna see!” My 12-year-old P said.

“No! Look away!”

By now I was curious at what was happening.

“What’s happening?” I yelled as I ran down the stairs. I was afraid I was missing out on a solid train wreck. I came down to my husband covering his eyes, letting out an inhuman sound while my son obediently looking away from the tv.

I looked up at what they adverted their eyes from to see a basketball game halted. A crowd of players, coaches and EMT’s crowded around a player.

“Oh my God! Rewind it!” I demanded.

“No HM! You do not want to see this, trust me.” My husband protested.

“No I do. Rewind it!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“DO IT!!” I screamed.

With hesitation he rewinded it to this…..

“HOLY FUCK!” I said slowly and out loud, completely forgetting my children were in the room.

Now I have been shit on, puked on and cut shit out of my Chihuahua’s ass. But I have never, ever been able to stand a body part is knocked out of a socket or is facing in the completely wrong direction. When horror movies show ghoul body parts in completely the wrong ways, I want to lose my shit.

This Morning

As I may or may not have mentioned, my 106-year-old Chihuahua either pisses or vomits daily in my house. This morning was no exception. Actually Chichi shook things up by vomiting bright yellow. After hacking like an 80-year-old man, she allowed the puke to come out and thank God she didn’t eat it….this time.

“She’s peeing through her mouth!” My 8-year-old exclaimed.

“Oh my God! Look away!” I said dramatically. My son giggled. I peered at Chichi, turned my head with a disgusted look and began to go to my happy place with childhood lyrics.

“Yes Jesus loves me,” I steal a look at Chichi and her vomit then look away again to continue.

“Yes Jesus loves me, yes Jesus loves me. For the bible tells me so.” I look at Chichi, turn my head and began to suck my thumb theatrically. Again, C can’t keep the giggles in.

Really the above was stupid but that is how I cope I think, on a daily basis with Chichi Barbados. Yes, that is her name. It’s the second name that popped in my head thus that is her middle name.

So tell me, what gets you? Have you ever vomited at the site of something nasty? Have you lost your appetite when looking at or reading something?

Share the laughs with friends!

19 Comments

Wanna leave a reply?

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

FOLLOW

Get the latest posts delivered to your mailbox:

%d bloggers like this: