WTF*** Is This? Thinx

She Thinx

Full disclosure, I have not tried Thinx. They may be what tampons were to periods, the next best thing. I don’t know. I am confused, worried and curious. Come along on my journey…..

Water Cooler Topic Du Jour: Thinx

Today at work we were engaged in our usual inappropriate conversations. Today’s topic? My co-worker’s first use of a tampon. At the age of 12, she didn’t know a tampon applicator was just a means to an ends, thus leaving it “in there”. She noted that not only was this her first time using a tampon but she also considers it her first lesbian experience. Her friend’s mother is a lesbian and had to assist in the removal of the tampon that was now stuck. Yes, these are the conversations that occur daily. Do you see why I say when I’m at work, I’m home?

“So have you seen those period pants?” She asked me.

“What? No. Oh, like you wear them at night in case you bleed everywhere?” I began to marvel at this, considering a purchase.

“No, you use them in place of your underwear and your tampon.”

“Come again?” I said in shock. “What are they called?”

“Thinks but spelled weird like T-H-I-N-X-S,” she said, spelling out the word.

I turned back around to my computer and began to Google Thinxs, then clicked on the link. What followed next was nothing short of pure awkwardness.

“I…can’t even….what the hell?” I said to no one specific.

SO MANY QUESTIONS! I have screenshot everything I want to ask about. Feel free to answer if you actually know the answer. Feel free to answer if you have a theory? I’m completely lost.

Once I was on a product page, the below pop-up happened. I am all about casual copy, appealing to your audience but I think I would have chosen another way to word this:

Thinx Underwear

Real? Menstruating? Humans? Do you not have social skills?

Next up, the product description:

Thinx Thong

Has anyone successfully measured what a tampon holds? How do you know what a 1/2 a tampon holds? Then to really drive home the scientific aspect, they use the wording: a lil’ baby amount of protection. I would use the measuring verbage of lil’ baby amount maybe to describe the amount of tea tree oil to put on a zit or how much dressing I want on my salad. To describe how much blood they hold, wouldn’t be top of mind.

Here is there Q&A icon, it’s a little hand. This looks like the icon Dexter would use if he had his own website.

Lastly, what the fuck are these girls doing? Seriously, someone please walk me through this because I’m having a really tough time wrapping my head around this.

thinx model

Additional Questions

So let’s say you put your Thinx on around 7am and your off to work. It’s day 1 of Aunt Flo. What do you do after you’ve exceeded the 2 tampon’s worth? Do you take your underwear off at work and put it in a ziploc? I don’t know. Do you bring fresh undies with you? Do you see this very valid dilemma?

If it’s not like wearing diapers and you aren’t sitting in a pool of blood, where is it going? Is it evaporating? Is there a little canal collecting it? I haven’t read enough to listen to how it works.

So you can return these things up to 60 days after purchase. First of all, I would never return something I bled in as I’m not an animal. Second, how hard-up are you for a job when you have to take job as the returned merchandise processor at this place. Dear God, where’s my haz mat suit?

Have you seen these things? Have any of you tried them? I definitely want your take on it!

 

 

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