I eat horribly. I LOVE to eat. Thankfully due to 2 medicines I take, my eyes are often bigger than my tummy, leaving me with a small appetite…sometimes. Let’s take Saturday for instance. If you are on Weight Watchers, look away as you won’t be able to unsee what I’m about to list:
Here Is What I Ate
- A 20 oz homemade vanilla latte
- 3/4 of a 12″ Subway steak & cheese sub. They are only $6 for a limited time so I have to take advantage.
- A Subway chocolate chip cookie
- 1/2 coke with vanilla flavoring
- 3 bottles of water
- Medium McDonalds fry
- 7 ketchup packets (I have it down to a science. This allows the perfect ketchup/fry ratio)
- 1 grilled chicken ranch snack wrap from McDonalds (extra lettuce and cheese)
- 1/3 of my son’s shamrock shake
- 1 starburst
- 3 glasses of wine
I think my “healthy eating” I vowed to keep, lasted one Monday. When I’m on a diet or eating what the experts state is the recommend calorie intake (which btw, isn’t enough to sustain a toddler), I am FUCKING HUNGRY! Animal instinct kicks in and the only thing I think about during the day is A. my next meal and B. where I can get food. Food consumes my every thought. FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! I don’t know about you but being hungry is painful. I have never fallen asleep hungry. If I’m hungry, I eat.
De’Nile….Not Just a River in Africa
Here are a few things I’ve done in the past when dieting or trying to eat better that are borderline delusional. I know this is bad but De’ Nile ain’t just a river in Africa. You feel me?
1.When I make my son’s peanut butter jelly sandwiches, I would “accidentally” scoop too much peanut butter with the knife and oh darn, would have to lick it off. This accident would probably be the equivalent of 2 tablespoons.
2. I’m a size 8! This is something I tell myself often. What the real story is, is that my low-rise, skinny jeans are a size 8. After I jump into them 3-4 times and secure the button that is about to pop off, my muffin top hangs over. To counter this, I wear a flowy shirt.
3. When I used Weight Watchers I was told that many activities were counted as workouts, even if they weren’t normally classified as exercise. These workouts equaled points and points equaled food. It wasn’t unusual to find me typing in activities like ironing, cleaning, or sex. Sadly, only cleaning garnered a point.
4. Again on Weight Watchers, I would “forget” to log stuff, especially condiments. I really felt these shouldn’t count since they were so small and to me, so insignificant. I mean, you can’t have fries without ketchup and I’m not going to drink black coffee. What am I? 80? I would think things to myself like:
          Ketchup is a point? But I use 7 packets on every fry!
          International Delights are 2 points? Seriously?
         Olive oil is 3? Now this is getting personal!Â
5. When exercising I would “break” for probably double the amount of time one is allowed to break.
In Closing…….
I know I need to eat better and my days are numbered of eating like this but food is so good. Why does it have to do bad things to our bodies when we indulge. Don’t answer that, I’m just being whiny. I think I’ll go get some cheese to go with that wine.
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teehee! Awesome! 🙂 Although I refuse to “diet”. Make healthy choices sure…but diet? No way.
Do wordpress comments not show up? Should I be using the other link?
I guess if you access me via wordpress reader you don’t have the option to comment?? What do you see?
Ive never had an issue with commenting on your blog lol
Omg! I just can’t seem to pin point who can’t see them and why!
Oh no! Thats horrible!! WordPress messes things up sometimes. I have one blogger who follows me but if i comment on his posts, it never shows up in my notifications so i have to go and check his blog to see if hes replied or not. And if i follow the comment section, i get alerts for every comment posted after mine. So annoying
Holy shit! Did I write this?!!! LOL!!!!! I have done literally every.single. one of your cheats!! I totally logged dusting once! If my body is moving, it is burning calories, dammit!!
Your blog post was the inspiration for this as it got my wheels turning on how many delusional things I tell myself when attempting to eat healthy! It blows!!
LOL! That’s awesome-I’m honored to be a writing inspiration ?. Yeah, super delusional, but, hey, it makes for good eating ???
Well, I suppose you know what you are doing wrong, so I’m not going into specifics. Eat 3 meals of about 300 calories and 3 snacks of 100 and you will loose. When you skip meals, you get hungry and binge on snack food that is high-cal. It is really hard to lose and you have to stay disciplined, but you can do it. After about two weeks of eating right, you will not even miss the junk food.
Thank you for the advice but I’ve got to be honest, I cringed when you said 300 calories. That is a side for me. I’m not fat, just out of shape. Maybe I just need to get huge for me to take eating healthy seriously. 300 x 3 + 100 x 3=1,200. Is that right for an adult? That doesn’t even sound like it would keep an infant alive. 😉
1200 to lose weight. 1500 – 2000 to maintain, depending on how active you are. Most Americans don’t even try, so you have a lot of company. I was like that too for a long time. Seemed like too much trouble. If you can avoid fried foods, sweets, and bread, it will make a big difference. Eat fruit and yogurt instead. It is not easy.