December’s Ass Hole Of The Month- Amos Mazzant

Judge Amos Mazzant

I’ve never had a featured ass hole of the month but after reading what I read today, I feel it’s necessary. He would have been November’s featured ass hole but given I just found out, he’ll do fine for December. Congratulations Mr. Mazzant.

The Miracle for 4.2 Million Americans

The government protects the hourly worker, ensuring they receive time and a half if working over 40 hours as well as breaks based on time worked. This is all well and good but last year as I was in my 65th hour of working one week in October, I began to wonder where the protection was for salaried employees. I began to Google the topic and I even sent e-mails to my state officials. I always found it odd that you could be paid $35,500 then told to work as many hours needed to get the job done, even if that meant 70.

Then in May, President Obama signed a law that would have a huge impact on an estimated 4.2 million Americans. In a nutshell, here is what was to happen 4 days ago until Satan himself swooped down and yelled “J/K!” to millions of Americans:

If you were salaried making under $47,476, your employer was to either:

a. bump your salary up to $47,476 no matter if you were making $47,000 or $27,000 before 12/1/16.


b. change your status to hourly so you would then be entitled to time and a half pay starting at hour 41.

This new law would have protected millions of workers from jerk holes that labeled someone salaried, because they were a supervisor. This supervisor (or slave) could potentially work 60 hours for just $24,000 and this is deemed legal by our government.

So Who Is Our Ass Hole Of the Month? 

As of November 22nd, he blocked not only the pay raise for millions of Americans but the protection it would have afforded them to not be worked like dogs. How many homes could have been saved? How many more nights could the electricity been kept on? And lastly, how many more mouths would have been fed?

Just to really drive home the point of how much of an ass hole this guy is

EXHIBIT A- The pay rate of U.S. District Judges* (oh your gonna’ love this one….)

2016 $203,100

2013 $174,100

1968 $30,000

Within 3 years, a district judge’s compensation jumped by $29,000. By comparison, the minimum salaried wage in the United States is $23,360. Funny how you’re o.k. with the U.S. government increasing District Judge compensations by 17% but then you stop that same Government from protecting millions from working 60 hours a week for peanuts.

My Wish

God I want to go Christmas shopping with you so bad it’s not even funny! I’ll even come to you in Texas! Let’s go to Houston Galleria. When I opened stores, that was one my favorite places. We’ll stay at the Westin that’s connected to the mall for a few nights. Separate rooms of course because I’m married, your Lucifer and I’m not that kind of girl.

When we go up to the front desk, please just say this to Havier:

“Hi, I’m Amos Mazzant and I enabled Starwood Hotels to allow you to work 5 12 hour days! Was my government rate of .99/night applied?”

On your way up to your room, you’ll probably wonder why the housekeeper Carla looks so haggared. Oh, it’s because she has to also work a second job at a call center to make ends meet. Oh yeah, she also has 2 kids she has to get off to school each morning but only on the mornings she isn’t forced to leave her 7 and 11 year old home alone since daycare isn’t even an option.

Once we’ve stored our things and Amos has officially offended the flight attendant, the baggage attandant on the rental car bus, 2 rental car attandents, the bellboy, the front desk clerk and the housekeeper, we are off to shop.

“So Amos, where do you want to shop? That gold card isn’t gonna’ spend it’s self! The sky’s the limit!”

“Crocs store.”

“Um, no. Pick something different.”

“AAA store.”

“The AAA store? What? You need a triptik to get back to hell? That’s it, I’m picking. We’re going to Express.”

And as we walk into the mall I have 1 final wish. I want to announce the following over the intercom:

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a very special guest here at the Galleria today. He’s the man that single handedly prevented your raise from going into effect just 4 weeks before Christmas if you made under $47,476. He’s the man that thought retail was a 40 hour a week job. I know, I couldn’t say that with a straight face either. I present to you Scrooge, the Devil, the ass hole- Amos Mazzant. Oh and peoples……he’s making a cool $203,100! God Bless.”

*You can find these salaries at this link: Judicial Compensation

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