I met my former co-workers today for lunch. It was funny meeting them under such circumstances given 1 now worked for a vet, the other was set to have her last day tomorrow and me, I was on my 4th wonderful week of work with my new awesome employer. For those of you that don’t know, I was the stiletto wearing fashionista who took a job at a Southwestern company for exactly 379 days. 379 days that I will never get back. It was officially the worst days of my life. Like a war I’ve never battled, had I not had these 2 friends in the trenches, I don’t know what I would have done. They were one of the few that showed acts of kindness and for that I thank them.
Please skip over this paragraph if you already know this. Some of you don’t. I took a job as a Boot Buyer of a Southwestern Company in June of 2015. I knew it wasn’t a good fit and I think deep down they knew it wasn’t a good fit but fortunately they hired me. Why did I accept this job?
A. It was the 11th hour of my employment.
B. I was facing an impending lumpectomy with a $20,000 deductible. It’s easy to say what you would do when faced with this situation but when really put in this situation, your behavior tends to change. It’s not wrong. It’s just human nature. I was diagnosed with atypical ductal hyperplasia and as long as I take tamoxifen for the next 4 more years (I’m down a year thank the baby Jesus!), my 400-500 fold increase of getting breast cancer is whittled away….so I hear.
But I digress. As many of you know, they were being ass holes about my unused vacation days. What especially made them ass holes was the fact that another co-worker (one of the angels mentioned above) turned in her two week notice 48 hours after me AND received her unused vacation.
So, as you have all come to know (and hopefully love) me, I DO NOT allow things to blow over gently, especially when someone is taking advantage of me/others. Don’t get me wrong, I will still hide their ass hole faces because I’m sure they will find a law where I can be sued. What I do know is that I have ALWAYS had a way with words and my review of this company was not an exception.
I like to think it’s like a complete BITCH SLAP….but like a quiet one. I consulted the almighty cousin- F (surely F, you are getting a big head by now? Am I right? Love you!Where’s my kid?) and he was sure it would get published. I kept mine EXTREMELY PC . So dear reader, first I will post what I WANTED to say and next, I will post what I actually said (and what I got approved).
Glassdoor.com-Hot Mess Memoir Style
Holy shit balls I am so fucking glad I am done with this nightmare “career” I had for the past 379 days. What a fucking nightmare. My first question is this: how can 1 person be so socially retarded (I am referring to my now former boss)? No really. How did someone actually agree to marry this person? I have ALWAYS despised the “C-word” but this job made me realize there was someone that clearly deserved the title. Because I am a positive, I decided to put a positive spin on things and address her by Cuntalia. It has a Disney-eque theme, no?
You have several people that have been there for several years. We get that. Unfortunately, unless they are borderline cowboys, bull sperm enthusiasts, heifer lovers, etc, you will never get people to stay longer than 2 years because of your 3rd world pay, doomsday prepper like ambiance and your retarded merchandising manager.
Because I am a good Hot Mess, here is what I typed, approved on glassdoor.com and now featured on there. Thoughts?