I love when I go on a site that has compiled “the best of local blogs” or blah, blah, blah and the last post was circa 2014 for like 5 of the ones I click on.
I love that the owner(s) of these blogs from roughly 18 months ago attempted whimsical names such as Fairly Freckles or Beards and Beers or Mommy’s Musings. The sites are beautiful and the names charming but honestly the shit is so boring you want to punch a Cabbage Patch Kid.
They take “beautiful photography”. You want beautiful photography? Ok, here is mine. After my 7 yr old decided this morning, ‘what if I were to take the tooth that just fell out of my gums and hold it up to where it used to be over the sink to see what I look like in the mirror?”
After 3 youtube videos, 4 episodes of vomiting in my mouth and later him loosing the EXACT SAME TOOTH here’s another picture for you. He lost his tooth again. Pay no attention that this is actually the bottom of my chihuahua’s toilet as she pees in this hallway whenever her 14 year old bladder feels like it God damn it! So yeah, my blog isn’t the most visually appealing or the title isn’t “so ironic”, it’s just what makes me laugh and when necessary I need to bring it to you to make you laugh too.
P.S. I just left a $5 bill under his pillow but did not extract the tooth yet. Going to set another alarm to pick it up as he began to stir. I am bitch slapping whoever invented this psycho that supposedly picks up baby teeth and leaves money. Who started this STUPID idea and who will bring me their head?