Mother’s, Moms and Mums, You Can Totally Relate


As a special salute to all the moms on Mother’s Day, I would love to share with you the 2nd half of our soccer debacle today for my oldest son.

Here is part 1 of my super awesome Saturday: Today Thus Far- Soccer Tournament to bring you up to speed. It’s really not that long of a story.

Game 1 and Lunch

So around 12:05 the first of 2 games began. Fortunately Weather Channel was on target as usual with the forecast, predicting a 0% chance of rain as it started pouring at noon. I went back to the car and got the umbrella my sister never realized she left at my house a year ago. Regardless, I had enough of nature and walking.

Game 1 done, scored 8 to 1, us.

C, my 7-year-old, and I waited in the car for my husband and P to walk back from the field when C announced in a snotty voice,”I want an icy cone!”

“I don’t know about that sweetie. Would you settle for a slurpie at the gas station?” I was trying to talk him out of it because the ice cone vendor was about a 1/2 mile walk away and to walk that far, only to lay down $4 for 8 ounces of crushed ice and flavoring was ridiculous!

“But dad said I could have one!” He protested.

I had enough of his whining. He had managed to stay awake for the entire 2 hour journey to the tournament, talking non-stop and he was getting grumpier by the minute. I, myself was getting pretty hangry and about to bite his head off.

“Look, once we decide what we are doing for lunch, then we can buy this ice cone, k?” I accentuated the word this, in an attempt to convey my frustration.

He just rolled his eyes and fell back into the car seat, completely exasperated.

Game 2

After game 2, we drove 30 minutes to a brand new Courtyard by Marriott. For $30 more we had gotten a suite so my sons could have their own room and we could suck our thumbs and rock back and forth in fetal position in our own room. It was 5:15 and by now, I was caffeine deprived and starving. This did not go well with the realization that not only did P not have any other shoes to wear except his cleats, but he also lost my husband’s Nike slides he was wearing before the games.

I lost my shit. I am a very patient person, understanding mistakes happen but this was the second time within 3 tournaments he had lost something.

Attempting to keep my composure I firmly asked,”when is the last time you had them on today?”

“I don’t know,” he said carelessly and dismissively. That was it, I lost it.

If there is one thing you should know about me, it’s this: DO NOT GET IN THE WAY OF MY FOOD. I’ll cut a bitch. I was exhausted, hungry and tired and just when I thought I could resolve all 3 issues I get an “I don’t know.”

“No, no, no! That is not an acceptable answer. Think! Was it before the first game or after it? Think!”

5 minutes later, I drove out of the hotel parking lot like a bat out of hell, cursing anything in my way to get him shoes. I swore to God that when I drove to a nearby Target, that if all they had were pink flip flops in his size, those were going to be his shoes for the next 18 hours. Usually Target has a combined total of 8 garments and 2 pairs of crocs for boys so to my surprise and his luck, they were stocked full of black/green neon slides.

20 minutes later I was back at the hotel and informed via text he was hiding from me in his best friend’s room. I walked to the room like George Jefferson, prepared to give a statement in front of not only his friend but his friend’s older sister and father. Z, the dad is somewhat of a peacemaker and in a futile attempt tried to defuse the situation.

“Oh no, P isn’t here. You just missed him,” he said smiling.

I wasn’t entertained. Suddenly P got up from his hiding place by the bed.

“Listen up, here is how this is all gonna go down. Tomorrow, you are going to check with each of your teammates,” I said while pointing my finger down to add drama, “and see if you accidentally put your slides in their backpack. Next, you are going to check with your coach. If after tomorrow you cannot find the slides, we are stopping by the Nike outlet and we are buying new slides. Then, you are handing over one of your $25 visa gift cards you got for your birthday. Do you understand?”

He shook his head in agreement.

“Now, I’m hungry. I’m going back to the room and order room service.” And with that, I turned on my heel and walked out.




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