Family · Getting to Know You · Super Hot Mess

Chichi, You’re Making Me Want to Puke

I’m done having a dog. I really am. Had 24-year-old me seen what 40-year-old me would have to do with my Chihuahua now; the adorableness of carrying a little dog in a pink purse would have lost its allure real fast. There have been times when Chichi’s baths have left me heaving while my eyes… Continue reading Chichi, You’re Making Me Want to Puke

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Blogging · Pop Culture · Ridiculousness · Super Hot Mess · Work

Sugar Daddy Test

On more than one occasion my co-worker has announced she wished she would win the lottery or that she needs to find a sugar daddy. She is in her 50’s, beautiful and knows everything there is to know about the food business. I help her with excel and tech, she helps me with food questions.… Continue reading Sugar Daddy Test

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Family · Kids · Parenting · Ridiculousness · Soccer · Summer

This Isn’t A Locker Room!

Saturday kicked off the beginning of soccer season with what is known as a friendly game at 9 a.m. for my 8-year-old son, while my husband was taking my 12-year-old to his game. To be honest, there isn’t such a thing as a soccer season. Perhaps a soccer year? It’s like a unicorn or big… Continue reading This Isn’t A Locker Room!

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Customer Service · Kids · Soccer · Summer

Another Lump, Soccer and Back To School

This post is a a bunch of miscellaneous so I apologize for the ADD like qualities of it. Look….a shiny squirl…… The Lump So as I wrote here, I have a gigantic, 1.5″ in diameter lump on the right side of the back of my head. The doctor (not my doctor as she was off… Continue reading Another Lump, Soccer and Back To School

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Family · First World Problems · Pop Culture

How To Get Free Solar Eclipse Glasses

My co-worker yesterday was sweet enough to purchase solar eclipse glasses for the department since we would be at work when it happened. She purchased 5 for $20. While I thought this to be a good deal, my cheap-ass always thinks you can find a better one. I googled “free solar eclipse glasses” and 5… Continue reading How To Get Free Solar Eclipse Glasses

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Family · Health · Ridiculousness · Super Hot Mess

I Ate My Twin In The Womb

Tuesday, on my commute home from work, I had a little itch on the right side of my lower scalp. I itched it like I normally would and felt something protruding from my head. “Wait, that’s not supposed to be there,” I said out loud. I continued to feel my head while gingerly surveying the… Continue reading I Ate My Twin In The Womb

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Family · Getting to Know You · Politics · Pop Culture · Ridiculousness

Questions I Have For God

On more than one occasion I’ve declared that if I go to hell my assigned job will either be to change the top bunk of every bunk bed or putting together Ikea furniture for new recruits, for all of eternity. I say the above jokingly, hoping to God I go to Heaven when death happens.… Continue reading Questions I Have For God

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Blogging · Family · Ridiculousness · Super Hot Mess

Dog With A Blog

Sure, it’s a little cliche and Disney-ish, naming this post Dog With A Blog, but it kinda fits. Guess what ass holes? It’s me, Hot Mess’s Chihuahua- Chichi Barbados. I’ve hijacked her blog and it’s a no holds barred confession of how I get revenge on her for having not 1 but 2 children. Gone… Continue reading Dog With A Blog

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First World Problems · Pop Culture · Ridiculousness · Super Hot Mess

A Hilarious Ikea Video

Considering I overslept by ummm…1.5 hours and left my makeup in my husband’s car…now 25 miles away I am having a fan-fucking-tastic day! I refuse to NOT post on a Monday and given my Ikea theme this week, I present to you an AMAZING video of 2 high people attempting to assemble Ikea furniture. This… Continue reading A Hilarious Ikea Video

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Customer Service · Parenting · Pop Culture

Ikea Has Bent Me Over

My back aches, I have about 3 new bruises, 2 scrapes and I’ve been stabbed by a wood nail in my pinky toe. I smell like the bottom of a trash can and this is only after almost completing my son’s bed: It’s going to be really cool because it does this: It pulls out… Continue reading Ikea Has Bent Me Over

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