Saturday kicked off the beginning of soccer season with what is known as a friendly game at 9 a.m. for my 8-year-old son, while my husband was taking my 12-year-old to his game. To be honest, there isn’t such a thing as a soccer season. Perhaps a soccer year? It’s like a unicorn or big… Continue reading This Isn’t A Locker Room!
This post is a a bunch of miscellaneous so I apologize for the ADD like qualities of it. Look….a shiny squirl…… The Lump So as I wrote here, I have a gigantic, 1.5″ in diameter lump on the right side of the back of my head. The doctor (not my doctor as she was off… Continue reading Another Lump, Soccer and Back To School
I am over the moon about this post! I can’t even take it peoples! I have watched this video no less than 15 times and it makes me smile every God damn time. Since I’ve essentially come out of the blogging closet, I can now post stuff like this. Of course after getting everyone’s sign… Continue reading Juju On That Beat
So folks as you know, I am having a writing contest on what you would say to Oprah in 400 words or less. If I was entering, here is my imaginary conversation with Oprah. Enjoy!! The scene: A Courtyard by Marriott, Dayton, Ohio. Reason: Soccer tournament. Oprah has agreed to meet with me. I’m suddenly… Continue reading Writing Contest- If I Was Entering- My Night With Oprah
96% of the time I never have to take my sons to soccer practice. Why? My husband is an assistant coach and both of their soccer practices happen to be at the same time at the same field. Unfortunately, due to circumstances, I’m taking my 8 year old-C this evening. Now the one rule for… Continue reading Soccer Practice And The Meat Sweats
Now we are running into issues. It’s 8:38 at night and day 1 of my diet (I started it on Mother’s day because I’m a moron). I have adhered to the 1,600 calories, have 50 left to spare and even walked for 15 minutes to kick start the diet. I am hungry, not tired and out… Continue reading Amazon Prime Now Can Deliver Wine!
When I first came across the Cricut machine at Jo Ann’s I blew it off as some contraption only used by women obsessed with scrap booking. I would rather sit through an 8 hour church binge at a Catholic church then scrapbook. Every time I passed the cage housing the Cricuts like IPads, I would… Continue reading I Want A Cricut!
I’ve always dreamed of going to the Kentucky Derby but doing it right with a beautiful hat and being in a VIP suite to watch a race I don’t give 2 shits about. After 5 minutes of waving my mouse around, wondering why it wasn’t working, only to discover it wasn’t plugged in, I can… Continue reading Hot Mess Prepares For Kentucky
Let’s get down to brass tacks ladies and gents. I am fallin’ behind with soccer mom paraphernalia. The other moms on my sons’ teams have small closets dedicated to soccer shit- t-shirts, sweatshirts, cutsy jewelry, headbands…..Jesus…..even hats. I’m the wife of the assistant coach and I have 2 shirts- one of which I can’t wear… Continue reading Pick My Soccer Mom Shirt
Hello hot messes! How are you? I’m on glass #1, sitting by the fireplace in a red velvet jacket smoking a pipe. JK, I’m in my sexy, flannel pants with my soccer shirt, hair up and makeup off. I am like an Amish sex pot at this point. Chichi the Chihuahua lays at my feet,… Continue reading Fire Side Chat With Hot Mess