So my blogging BFF/lil’ sis, asked if she could guest post on my blog. Umm….of course! Is that even a question? It’s especially amazing because I have NOTHING to offer in the realm of online dating seeing that I’ve been married for 16 years. What am I going to tell you? Don’t page me and use the numbers on the pager to spell BOOBS? Only people my age would get that. Anyway, after reading the below, please check out her other amazing posts at NO LOVE FOR FATTIES!
How to Be a Decent Human Being- Online Dating
It’s no secret that the world of online dating can be a little bit of a horrible experience. There are too many apps to use, and we’re entered into this weird “swipe right, swipe left” culture that is, frankly, just annoying. However, if you’re like me and wanting to start dating someone but have no time at all to actually find someone to date, online dating has some benefits! And hopefully, you’ll be able to meet someone cute and sweet and go on a promising first date, which leads to a cute ride home, and a very sweet hug and kiss on the cheek. It actually happens! Good guy (and girls) exist out there!
Without further ado, here are my tips on how to be a decent human being while wading through the knee-high waste pile that is online dating.
Don’t Be a Scammer
I mean, like seriously, why do I even have to bring this up? Don’t be that person who is super sweet and makes me fall for you and then say you are going overseas and need me to send you $10,000 and you’ll pay me back as soon as you get back and can I open a bank account under my name for you? As soon as any person asks for money, run away my friends!
Don’t Be an Axe Murderer
This is pretty basic. Don’t be a serial killer or a criminal and try to get a date with me. Being a decent human being means not being a criminal. It’s only common sense, folks.
This is HUGE. I put a lot of effort into my profile to make it a nice balance of cutesie and sweet, a little bit of my sass and sarcasm, but also with some serious points about my life. I say right in the first line that I’m a nanny. Don’t message me and ask me what my job is. It’s legit RIGHT THERE.
Don’t Ask to Meet Up Then Stop Talking
How frustrating is this?! I have Fridays off and if I had kept all the “coffee dates” that had been semi-planned for last Friday, I would have been seeing like 7 different guys. There seems to be this horrible trend that we’ll be having a great conversation and vibing off each other, so one of us asks if the other wants to meet up for coffee. That’s normal! But when the answer is “Sure, does Friday work for you?” and then you say “Absolutely!” Why do you stop talking and I never hear from you again? What just happened? I have no idea.
Be honest about what you’re looking for, what you’re into, what you’re not into. If we’re talking and we hit a point where you’re not feeling it anymore, tell me. We’re adults. It’s all good. I always do this. I thank them for their time and say it was nice talking but I’m not feeling it. I then wish them the best in their search. End on a positive note.
Respect the Other Person’s Life Choices
This one is basically linked to being honest and reading profiles. I’m a Christian and live a Christian lifestyle. Now for most people, the only thing that would affect them is that I’m abstinent. It’s my own personal choice. I’m not waiting until marriage but right now I’m abstinent. Don’t ask me for a hook-up when you know that’s not how I roll. No, I won’t give you a massage “with a release at the end” because you are sure that my religion “would be ok with that”. Also, if I say it’s too early to give you my phone number, that doesn’t mean ask 5 minutes later expecting a different result. No…just, no.
Don’t be “That Guy”
I tried to keep all these gender neutral, but this one had to be said. Don’t be that guy who sends unwanted dick pics. Like I’m happy you’re proud of your member, but I didn’t ask for that picture, and because you sent it without me asking for it, or asking if I wanted it to be sent, now you’re blocked. Sorry, I’m not even the littlest bit sorry.
With those seven rules, I am sure that you will be able to have a happy online dating experience. Take these tips and go find love, darlings!