In my 3rd year of college, I took a full-time position at Express clothing store because I’m a hard-working hot mess! Just months into it and I’m promoted to Assistant Manager at the Kingsdale branch. It was in a good part of town, had few shoplifters and the store was small. Needless to say, I killed it.
9 months later I was promoted again.
It was bittersweet this time. One day I walked in to find my manager had CONGRATULATION balloons and a little cake waiting for me.
“Congratulations! You’ve been promoted to…..Northland!”
My smile turned to hesitation.
“Northland?” I asked, slowly flipping out inside.
She detected the worry. “I know it’s a tougher market but you’ve worked there before and you’re gonna do great!”
Northland in its hay day was the best mall in Columbus, Ohio. Over the years however, gangs had entered nearby and before you know it, you felt like you were shopping in war-torn Croatia or something. My sister was already working at the Foot Locker there and had already been on lock down because of a gun shot in the mall. It was more money and closer to my apartment but I knew it was going to suck.
The Express store I was going to was HUGE! It was originally a prototype store and decorated funkier than most. You could enter from outside or enter from the mall. In the center of the store were the cash registers or what they call in the retail industry, the wrap desk. Behind the wrap desk was an elevated shopping area, accessible by steps. In addition to the cabinet of fashion and racks of clothing displayed, this is also where 5 fitting rooms resided.
The Incident
We had a very faithful mall cop that worked Friday through Sunday. His name was Jim and I always felt safer knowing he was there, should interactions get out of hand as they often did.
One Friday night about an hour before closing, Jim alerted us he was stepping outside for some fresh air. This was odd as Jim NEVER took breaks so we were all for him taking five. I was busily putting the finishing touches on a beautiful spa display in front of the wrap desk. It had all sorts of bath salts, lotions and everything you needed to have a magical spa experience. I questioned why a fashion brand would be dipping their toes into the spa world but being paid $18,100 annually, that was above my pay grade to question. Next I walked up onto the platform to begin the shitty task of spacing out every single hanger. Just then I heard someone begin to yell.
“You know you ain’s spose’ to be here!”
“I don’t give a fuck what chu’ think!”
“How you gone do this bitch!”
I look over the cabinets to see 5 girls confronting each other. Eventually all of them were screaming at each other at the same time and I could no longer understand what was being said as it was an orchestra of high-pitched insults and squeals.
Then it happened. I heard a glass break and the swoosh of a thousand little particles rolling like a wave onto the wood floor. Then another, and another. I look back up to see that they are throwing the bath salt jars at each other.
When the bath salts were exhausted one pulls the other hair while her friend begins to bitch slap the other. There is a brawl and I’m somewhat in shock. I duck down and  tip-toe to the other set of stairs closer to the entrance. I hunch down and run outside to find Jim.
Jim is sitting on a bench enjoying his few minutes of serenity when I come running up.
“Jim!” I scream. “There’s a fight! Inside the store! There throwing stuff! Oh my God! Oh my God!”
Jim jumps up and races inside, seconds later he has all 5 girls subdued and calling for I don’t know….back up?
When it was all said and done here is what I found all over the floor, I shit you not:
- bath salts
- glass
- hair extensions
- fake nails
- fake gold
At best, I got a chuckle from all of the things I found. When I ask Jim what the fight was over he said 2 of the girls crossed each other paths tonight and it just happened to be in my store. Each had a child from the same father and obviously that didn’t sit well with either. I can’t remember if the girls were arrested or what but that is when I knew I needed to get the fuck out of that nightmare. Several months later, I moved to corporate Express. Thank the baby Jesus!
Hahahahahahhaahahahahahaha!!!
It’s funny now that I look back on it!
My post got you reminiscing, did it?
What’s wrong with people!? Using store merch to fight with!? How much of a low life can you be… oh wait… baby daddy issues… I see.
I didn’t experience any fights, but I did catch someone in the act of shoplifting, another switching price tags on merchandise to try and get a discount, and a customer came behind the cash wrap and got in my face. Oh! And that time a sales lead cornered me in the stock room and threatened me. That wasn’t fun…
I had so many shop lifting experiences it wasn’t even funny. In fact I was going to incorporate it into this story but realized it would be way too long. I am actually writing about that tomorrow. I can look back on it and laugh…thank God!
I have issues with my ex – no, really, there are issues there – but you know what that means to me? That means he’s not allowed to ruin one more second of my life. He’s certainly not worth me running up a bill for what I can only imagine are (sorry, no offense to your former excellent retail work) some pretty shitty yet overpriced bath salts. Seriously, that’s not about your hate for the person in front of you or what another person did with them, that’s about your love of drama and chaos.
Very true. I hate drama. I was just trying not to get killed. LOL!
oh goodness! lol that was a great story. I’m sure it wasn’t fun to live through but it was fun to read! haha nothing like that has ever happened at any of my jobs.
It was a guarantee to happen…or me be jumped in the parking lot. Hence the reason it was a bitter sweet promotion. Tomorrow’s post is going to be about all the shop lifters.
Awesome! I had a few of those in the grocery store that I worked in.
Baby daddys … no-one thought to through bath salts at his slutty ass lol
Glad you got a better job though 😉
You know..those girls should have thought it through right?!?! I would have allowed them to steal the salts to throw at him!
LOL … Me too! … hell, I would’ve got in there a thrown a few at him for good measure … then gone out for nice coffee 😉
Ha! Too bad that “nice coffee” in that area was McDonalds!! Ha!! Lol!!!
Ohhhh … thats a travesty! lol
I know! This is pre Starbucks!
Horrors! Pre-gentrification 😉 No neighbourhood should be without a decent cafe … period lol
Illegal! Unjust!! Burn the place dowm!
LOL!
Great story! Retail always has some outlandish stories.
Goodness! I have a few horror stories from working in retail, but this really takes the biscuit! Madness.
Working with the public can be hell, but you get THE BEST stories. I used to work at a hotel. It’s like retail, but more alcohol and the fun goes all night long….
Oh…and the shit you probably find in those rooms. You could write a book I bet!
It’s usually just a gross mess, porn, or both.